On Tuesday morning, we got up, ate a quick breakfast paired with the world’s greatest coffee, then got in a Toyota van and drove to pick up our sons from the care center where they have been staying since they came to Addis 8 months ago.

As we walked up, our boys both screamed, “MommyDaddy!!” and jumped into our arms. They promptly escorted us to their room to show us they were all packed up and ready to go! We stayed to play for a bit and shared traditional Ethiopian coffee with the nannies as we gave them each a gift card, chocolates and roses that we had gotten for them.

Our boys shared one nanny named Werkalesh, who was more like a caring foster mom to them. She loved them dearly and took great care of them. As we got in the car, she began to cry as she kissed their cheeks over and over. Then she handed them a glamor shot of herself and said to them in Amharic, “Don’t forget me!” We were all so moved!

As we began driving away our driver asked, “Guest house?” but before we could reply, the boys excitedly yelled, “NO! AMERICA!!!” and we all laughed so hard. “Soon boys…soon!”

That night back at the guest house, we had pizza and gave the boys a bubble bath. At first it was scary for them and they were very apprehensive to get in. I suppose they’d never had a bath before. But once they got in, they had a blast. It’s amazing how a bubble bath is a water park to an orphan. But they’re not orphans anymore. They’re ours!

The next day, we went to the embassy to tie up all the loose ends of getting their visas and passports and making everything official from the American end. Our boys strutted in like they owned the place, with the biggest grins on their faces. I think they thought we were at the airport leaving for home. But there was no airplane… just a slide set up in the waiting area, which they wore out.

As we were being interviewed, we found out that our boys’ birth mom was a prostitute and they have different birth dads, though neither have met them. 2 years ago, Surafel had begun begging on the streets just so he could eat and she knew that wasn’t the life she wanted for her sons, so she gave them up to be adopted.

Prostitution is so common here because for many women, they are asked by their parents from a very young age to sell themselves so their families can have food. It is a choice of whether or not you eat, so for many the choice is already made. Even still, I can’t imagine it is an easy choice to carry out.

I was trying to picture what life must have been for our boys’ birth mom… how she must have felt… what her situation must be like… To have to choose to give up your sons so that they could live long enough to have families of their own. These thoughts were all going through my head, when on the way home, we met a 13 year old mom named Atist and her 1 year old son. They were begging on the streets and I couldn’t help but think that her story was not too different from our boys’ birth mom’s, and consequently, our boys. What if someone had helped her 2 years ago?

We asked her and her son to eat with us… whatever her heart desired, she could order, and a cheeseburger, fries and orange juice did just the trick. As we sat and talked with her, we found out that she had no groceries to feed her son, so we walked to the grocery story with her and bought her a cart full of groceries to share the love of Christ with her.

Just as we said goodbye to Atist, it began raining like crazy. It rains every day this time of year in Ethiopia, as it’s their winter rainy season here now. It’s been in the 50s and 60s all week, which is a nice break from the heat of St. Louis.

We got back to the guest house, cold and soaked, and put the kiddos in a bubble bath again. They had the time of their lives once again, this time lathering up soap beards and white heads of hair! When we got them out, it was a bit chilly in the room and they were shivering. What a perfect time to introduce them to a hair dryer. They were a bit startled at first, and must have thought it was a weapon or something, but as soon as they felt the warm air on their cold skin, grins the size of Texas spread across their little faces and they spent the next 30 minutes sitting under the warm air of the hair dryer.

They love brushing their teeth, which is a huge surprise. We got them each their own toothbrush and I think they are more excited about those than anything else. About 5 times a day, they just get these cheesy smiles on their faces, walk into the restroom, grab their brushes and start brushing away.

It’s also quite surprising and impressive that they are both completely potty trained. Even barely-3-year-old Esrael simply says “toilet,” then walks into the restroom and does his business! Obviously Amanda and I are pretty happy about that!

All of this has occurred between games of “Mommy! Daddy!” which is similar to Marco Polo, plus lots of cuddling, cheek-kissing, saying “I love you” and taking tons of pictures. Of course most of the pictures are being taken by Surafel. He loves it, but has no clue what he’s doing, so last night after they were asleep, we had to delete 436 pictures of Surafel’s finger off of Amanda’s phone. Hilarious!

Today we are headed to the zoo and are going to make more of the memories they have been denied for the past 2 years. Tomorrow we fly home. These are our sons and we could not love them more if they were from our own flesh.

“He chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love, he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.” Ephesians 1:46

Adoption was not Plan B in God’s mind. There was no Plan A with lots of children who never sin and never need to be redeemed. God predestined us for adoption before the creation of the world. Plan A was creation, fall, redemption, adoption so that the full range of God’s glory and mercy and grace could be known by his adopted children. Adoption was not second best. It was planned from the beginning.

In our lives, there is something uniquely precious about having children by birth. That is a good plan. There is also something different, but also uniquely precious, about adopting children. Each has its own uniqueness. Your choice to adopt children may be sequentially second. But it does not have to be secondary. It can be as precious and significant as having children by birth. God is able to make adoption an A+ plan in our lives.

Think of the plight of the orphan somewhere right now out there in the world. It’s not just that she’s lonely. It’s that she has no inheritance, no future. With every passing year, she’s less “cute,” less adoptable. In just a few years, on her eighteenth birthday, she’ll be expelled from the orphanage or from “the system.” What will happen to her then? Maybe she’ll join the military or find some job training. Maybe she’ll stare at a tile on the ceiling above her as her body is violated by a man who’s willing to pay her enough to eat for a day, alone in a back alley or in front of a camera crew of strangers. Maybe she’ll place a revolver in her mouth or tie a rope around her neck, knowing no one will have to deal with her except, once again, the bureaucratic “authorities ” who can clean up the mess she leaves behind. Can you feel the force of such desperation? Jesus can. She’s his little sister.

In that moment it seemed so easy. Of course there is nothing easy about adoption. Raising $35,000, filling out an entire forest’s worth of paperwork, and having your entire life under scrutiny for a year or so is not easy. But the judge made it look so easy.

We had been worried our recommendation letter from the Ministry of Women & Adolescents (MOWA) may not come in time as it is very common that the letter won’t come for weeks after your court date. But something very unique happened and our letter arrived weeks ago.

So we just stood in a room packed wall to wall with people mostly from America, Spain and Italy, waiting for our turn. Hours went by and the room emptied out, little by little, until we were some of the last in the room. And then they called our name.

We walked in, unsure what to expect.

“Are you adopting Surafel and Esrael?”

Yes.

“Do you have biological children of your own?”

Yes.

“Have you told your biological children about your adoption?”

Yes.

“Do you plan to educate Surafel and Esrael about their Ethiopian heritage?”

Yes.

“They are yours…”

We left from there, picked up our sons, and took them for ice cream to celebrate. They still don’t know what’s going on but they loved the ice cream! We just wanted to live in that moment for as long as we could.

How do you explain to 2 children that you’re their new parents? Or more so, how do you explain to a 4 year old and a 2 year old that they are your new children? And that you have to leave them in their care center for another however many weeks and you don’t know exactly when you’ll be back to get them? That they can’t come home yet.

I had no idea how to tell them. I just said, “I promise we will be back to get you.”

Today we have to leave them here in Ethiopia and fly back to America. I don’t know how to feel right now. This whole week has been such a bittersweet experience. But I know the day is coming soon when they will be home.

They will eat every meal with us and not have to worry about going to bed hungry. They will sleep in a comfortable bed under a roof that belongs to them. They will wear boys clothes that fit them! They will be home.

It can get a bit hectic when you are at an orphan care center. Every parentless, starved-for-affection child there wants your attention and you really want to give it. But there is a large piece of you wanting to just spend some time with your kids and bond with them. Our kids were thinking the same thing.

Surafel particularly became very protective of his time with us. As with most boys (and men for that matter), you can see he wants to be a ninja or boxer or UFC fighter. If another child came near us, he was fists up and ready for action. Yesterday at one point, he actually found a small piece of PVC and commenced hitting his friend with it. If you have ever been a little boy or had little boys, you know this is pretty standard little boy behavior. Nonetheless, I took the PVC from him and told him that it was not okay. It was in that very second that Amanda and I saw what lay in store for us over the next many years.

That very moment we found out that Surafel is one of the strongest-willed children we have met. I understand and love strong-willed children because I myself am strong-willed. I married a strong-willed woman. I have 2 strong-willed daughters.

Strong-willed Surafel will be a great leader one day, but for now, he does not like to be told no.
I can honestly say I have never seen a child cry for as long as he did. I held him for a good 30-40 minutes as he clung to me and soaked through the entire left shoulder of my shirt with his tears. Perhaps he was testing my love, or trying to see who was boss. Either way, I was firm in both and just held him as I sang into his ear.

Today we decided getting away with them was a good plan and we were right. The boys greatly enjoyed the car ride to the Guest House and we loved holding them the whole way, watching the amazement in their eyes as we drove through the city.

From our hotel room bed, we had fruit, French fries, juice boxes and Coke while watching Despicable Me. Surafel discovered the space bar on my laptop paused the movie and had a hey day pausing every other phrase, trying to repeat every word of the movie (He is already like his movie quoting dad in so many ways). Esrael kept trying to use my phone as a remote control to press play when Surafel had paused. It was a much needed relaxing time together.

I love my sons. I could not love them any more if they were of my own blood. They are my sons. Tomorrow is our court appointment. Tomorrow it will be official. Tomorrow I will be a father of 4.

One of the oldest civilizations on the planet, Ethiopia is the birthplace of coffee and the resting place of many of the kings and queens of the Old Testament. The only African nation to not be colonized for slavery, it now lays captive to the devastating foe of poverty and disease. HIV has stricken the country and left it a fatherless nation, now home to over 5.5 million orphans. We are adopting 2 of them… Surafel and Esrael, soon to be Jude and Liam Miller… my sons!

We arrived here at night after a “short” 25 hour flight, slept and immediately drove to meet our sons. It took a moment for them to warm up to us. Surafel has a big personality – certainly opinionated in almost every way. Esrael seemed a bit aloof and unaware of our presence… until we tried to help him play with one of the toys we brought him. He immediately yelled and pushed his toys into a pile as far from us as he could get it. He wasn’t so interested in playing with them, he just wanted to make sure no one else could!

Surafel in a similar way was very protective of the things we brought him. We had brought an entire suitcase of gifts to lavish on our sons. Some food, some toys, some clothes, and of course – some candy! Surafel deemed himself guardian of the suitcase and always kept it zipped shut, ready to kick anyone who tried to take what was rightfully his. It was hilarious to watch.

It wasn’t long before we could feel the walls coming down and within an hour or two we were all playing together. The boys both even climbed into my lap and we played a few rounds of Angry Birds together. I figured it worked on my girls at home… it would probably work here and sure enough, it was a HUGE hit!

Esrael was obsessed with the cars on the dirt road just outside the care center. He kept exclaiming “Makina!”, which I can only assume is Amharic for car, so I would hold him and take him out to see them and we would turn the music on and dance in the dirt lot. He also loved airplanes and so I would lift him high in the air and fly him like a plane which he thought was pretty hilarious!

Surafel seemed to ping pong back and forth with his affections, giving them momentarily and then retrieving and putting his guard back up. But before the day was over, I had him on my shoulders and he was laughing hysterically and kissing me on the cheek. That first time my son kissed me made the 25 hour journey worth while!

It was very hard leaving. In the same way we came, Esrael seemed aloof and unaware what was happening… But Surafel, now 4 years old, felt it much more. Perhaps the sting of wondering if we would return brought back the pain of losing his father or being abandoned by his mother. His eyes began welling up with tears as I held him in a long embrace and told him, “I love you, my son! I WILL be back tomorrow!” He walked back into a shadowy corner and buried his face in his hands, unsure of whether to trust me or not. But today I will continue on the long journey of proving to him that He can.

This is day 2… We will be heading to see them again in 20 minutes! I can’t wait. I have no idea what to expect. Will they have to warm up to us again? Will they run to us? We shall see!

But despite the MOWA mandate, the Ethiopian courts were continuing to increase the number of cases to avoid backlogs as the number of people wanting to adopt from Ethiopia increased, as did the exponentially rising need for children to be adopted. Sounded like a good plan at the time…

The unfortunate result, however, was an increase in their workload due to the fact MOWA could not get the necessary approval letters in on time, which resulted in the judge having to set new court dates, double duty, etc.

So it seems that while this isn’t necessarily ideal and there is a reduction in the number of cases seen per day, it is still better than what we were faced with this time last week. And it could in fact just even everything out. If there are 20 court hearings per day and 20 MOWA referral letters being written per day, this may in fact take away some of the confusion and keep the process moving along at the same pace it’s been moving at. Who knows?

This doesn’t effect our current April 13th court date, as far as we know. But it is impossible to know how this may effect the length of time after our court date before we get to bring the boys home. The hardest part is not knowing. We just want to hold our little boys. It’s hard to think about other people taking care of the boys, clothing them, feeding them, tucking them in at night.

We’re trusting in God’s sovereignty and goodness, and know without a doubt that he is in control.

Thanks for your prayers, and please keep praying for the boys while they wait to come home. We aren’t the only ones experiencing this, and we aren’t the only ones that will see God bring this to completion. This is yet another reminder to not rejoice in our circumstances because they always change. It is only God that never changes. We’re so thankful that we can depend on him!

Grace and peace,
Stephen and Amanda Miller

There is much speculation that some of the push is to weed out child trafficking, but throwing out the baby with the bath water is not the answer. There are 5.5 million orphans in Ethiopia today, who need homes. Who need parents. We are praying that God would raise up families in Ethiopia who would adopt these children within their own culture and context. While we pray for a domestic adoption movement to sweep over Africa, these children need homes now…

As most of you know, my wife and I are adopting two brothers, Surafel and Esrael from Ethiopia. We have a current court date of April 13th. We do not know how this will effect that court date if at all. In so many ways, our heart can’t see beyond our own boys, but we are feeling the pain of all the families and the fatherless out there who will be effected by this.

We are asking you all to join us in prayer for the government of Ethiopia. I believe it is pretty much common sense that children were created to be in families, not orphanages. They need wisdom to not forget this. They need wisdom to not make a rash decision right now. They need help with administration and they need a better system to eradicate child trafficking. Please join us in prayer, and if you feel led, fasting.