I’ve been reading a book called Adopted For Life by Dr. Russell Moore. It’s amazing so far. This excerpt has really been haunting me today and my heart is heavy for the orphans without families or homes all over the world. I know the heart of Jesus breaks for them and mine is breaking more…

Think of the plight of the orphan somewhere right now out there in the world. It’s not just that she’s lonely. It’s that she has no inheritance, no future. With every passing year, she’s less “cute,” less adoptable. In just a few years, on her eighteenth birthday, she’ll be expelled from the orphanage or from “the system.” What will happen to her then? Maybe she’ll join the military or find some job training. Maybe she’ll stare at a tile on the ceiling above her as her body is violated by a man who’s willing to pay her enough to eat for a day, alone in a back alley or in front of a camera crew of strangers. Maybe she’ll place a revolver in her mouth or tie a rope around her neck, knowing no one will have to deal with her except, once again, the bureaucratic “authorities ” who can clean up the mess she leaves behind. Can you feel the force of such desperation? Jesus can. She’s his little sister.

“They are yours…” The judge told us very nonchalantly. After a series of questions, she spoke those 3 words and officially made me a father of 4.

In that moment it seemed so easy. Of course there is nothing easy about adoption. Raising $35,000, filling out an entire forest’s worth of paperwork, and having your entire life under scrutiny for a year or so is not easy. But the judge made it look so easy.

We had been worried our recommendation letter from the Ministry of Women & Adolescents (MOWA) may not come in time as it is very common that the letter won’t come for weeks after your court date. But something very unique happened and our letter arrived weeks ago.

So we just stood in a room packed wall to wall with people mostly from America, Spain and Italy, waiting for our turn. Hours went by and the room emptied out, little by little, until we were some of the last in the room. And then they called our name.

We walked in, unsure what to expect.

“Are you adopting Surafel and Esrael?”

Yes.

“Do you have biological children of your own?”

Yes.

“Have you told your biological children about your adoption?”

Yes.

“Do you plan to educate Surafel and Esrael about their Ethiopian heritage?”

Yes.

“They are yours…”

We left from there, picked up our sons, and took them for ice cream to celebrate. They still don’t know what’s going on but they loved the ice cream! We just wanted to live in that moment for as long as we could.

How do you explain to 2 children that you’re their new parents? Or more so, how do you explain to a 4 year old and a 2 year old that they are your new children? And that you have to leave them in their care center for another however many weeks and you don’t know exactly when you’ll be back to get them? That they can’t come home yet.

I had no idea how to tell them. I just said, “I promise we will be back to get you.”

Today we have to leave them here in Ethiopia and fly back to America. I don’t know how to feel right now. This whole week has been such a bittersweet experience. But I know the day is coming soon when they will be home.

They will eat every meal with us and not have to worry about going to bed hungry. They will sleep in a comfortable bed under a roof that belongs to them. They will wear boys clothes that fit them! They will be home.

It is almost 8 PM on our 3rd full day in Addis. The sun set almost an hour ago and the stars are shining brightly over our hotel. It’s a quaint and beautiful 5 bedroom Guest House. This is where we spent most of the day with our sons today. We brought them here to spend some time away from all the other kids.

It can get a bit hectic when you are at an orphan care center. Every parentless, starved-for-affection child there wants your attention and you really want to give it. But there is a large piece of you wanting to just spend some time with your kids and bond with them. Our kids were thinking the same thing.

Surafel particularly became very protective of his time with us. As with most boys (and men for that matter), you can see he wants to be a ninja or boxer or UFC fighter. If another child came near us, he was fists up and ready for action. Yesterday at one point, he actually found a small piece of PVC and commenced hitting his friend with it. If you have ever been a little boy or had little boys, you know this is pretty standard little boy behavior. Nonetheless, I took the PVC from him and told him that it was not okay. It was in that very second that Amanda and I saw what lay in store for us over the next many years.

That very moment we found out that Surafel is one of the strongest-willed children we have met. I understand and love strong-willed children because I myself am strong-willed. I married a strong-willed woman. I have 2 strong-willed daughters.

Strong-willed Surafel will be a great leader one day, but for now, he does not like to be told no.
I can honestly say I have never seen a child cry for as long as he did. I held him for a good 30-40 minutes as he clung to me and soaked through the entire left shoulder of my shirt with his tears. Perhaps he was testing my love, or trying to see who was boss. Either way, I was firm in both and just held him as I sang into his ear.

Today we decided getting away with them was a good plan and we were right. The boys greatly enjoyed the car ride to the Guest House and we loved holding them the whole way, watching the amazement in their eyes as we drove through the city.

From our hotel room bed, we had fruit, French fries, juice boxes and Coke while watching Despicable Me. Surafel discovered the space bar on my laptop paused the movie and had a hey day pausing every other phrase, trying to repeat every word of the movie (He is already like his movie quoting dad in so many ways). Esrael kept trying to use my phone as a remote control to press play when Surafel had paused. It was a much needed relaxing time together.

I love my sons. I could not love them any more if they were of my own blood. They are my sons. Tomorrow is our court appointment. Tomorrow it will be official. Tomorrow I will be a father of 4.